Fleeing An Abuser With Your Children

You’re enduring life with an abusive partner and you realize it’s time to leave. But you have children in the house. He tells you that if you take them, he will file a missing child report and you will be accused of kidnapping. You will be arrested and will lose custody. So, you stay out of fear, enduring endless days, months, years of abuse.

This threat is used on many survivors of domestic violence by their controlling partners. It is an abuser manipulation tactic. While child custody issues are very real and nuanced, the above scenario holds no validity with the law when you and your children need to escape abuse to a shelter.

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How to Protect Your Identity

One way that abusers exert power and control is by stealing a survivor’s identity. An abuser may open a credit card in a survivor’s name with the goal of ruining the survivor’s credit, or may fraudulently use a survivor’s social security number to stalk or harass them. There are multiple steps you can take to protect your identity and independence, which are especially important to do before or as soon as you leave an abusive partner.

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‘My Friend Told Me She’s Being Abused’: The right and wrong thing to say at this moment

Your best friend, sister or coworker has just entrusted you with a serious confession: She is being abused by her partner. She didn’t know who else to turn to, she says. At this pivotal moment, you want to say the exact right thing, but all you really want to do is tell her, in no uncertain terms, to GET OUT. Janice Miller, director of client services at House of Ruth, an intimate partner violence center in Maryland, explains why this isn’t exactly what the survivor needs to hear right now.

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Stylist to the Survivors

Celebrity stylist Sam Russell is often bestowed with designer fashions us mere mortals are rarely privy to. They’re given to him by the PR people who want their designer clients to be worn by the likes of Sophia Bush or Jon Hamm, just two of Russell’s well-known clients. That is, until Russell had another idea.

As he tells it, the inception of The Giving Closet stemmed from a moment of selfishness turned selflessness. “I had this client in Hollywood whose girlfriend kept hounding me for free shoes. I had already hooked her up with so much free stuff, but she just wanted more, more more. It was never enough. So finally, I just kind of thought to myself, I don’t want to give her these shoes! I want to give them to someone in need, some great, amazing mom with some amazing story. Once I had that thought, it changed the course of my life.”

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Killed at Work by an Ex-Boyfriend

Nadia Ezaldein was young, beautiful and much loved by her family. She was also a statistic. Ezaldein was one of the 1.3 million women who are abused by her partners each year in the U.S.

Her family says Ezaldein endured months of physical and psychological torment from her Chicago boyfriend, 31-year-old Marcus Dee, including cracked ribs and a broken jaw. Ezaldeins’s sister claimed Dee even went so far as to put a gun in Ezaldein’s mouth to threaten her. However, also according to her sister, Ezaldein was too afraid to file for an order of protection. Even though Ezaldein broke it off, Dee wouldn’t let her go.

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